SHIT THAT'S PISSING ME OFF RIGHT NOW

Sometimes you just need to rant about shit that's pissing you off.  Well, today is one of those days.  I hope you're not one of these people because I want to throw large non-lethal objects at their heads right now.
 
1)  I have a 7ish minute drive to school from my house.  Everything's fucking peachy until I try to merge onto the 110 from the 101S.  I'm honestly not sure how this literally happens EVERY SINGLE DAY and NO ONE has figured this out yet, but all these goddamned morons think "OH SHIT if I don't get all the way over into the left 3 lanes in the next 100 feet I'll be stuck downtown forever!"  NOPE.  There's a little secret.  It's adequately signed and pretty fucking obvious but apparently, based on driver behavior, it's still a fucking little known porthole that goes EXACTLY WHERE THEY WANT TO GO.  Here's the secret - IF YOU DON'T MAKE IT TO THE LEFT 3 LANES YOU WILL STILL GET ON THE 110S.  The magical lane RIGHT NEXT TO IT, the one you're slowing to a COMPLETE STOP in to get over ONE MORE LANE and wasting my precious time because you don't care to read signs, GOES TO THE EXACT SAME PLACE.  We go up a magical little hill, then come down and get RIGHT BACK ON THE 110!  I know, it's CRAZY.

First of all, I can assume that the vast majority of the people at any given time are residents of Los Angeles, and also that they have in fact driven on this particular stretch of road before.  Second, I'd say a good HALF of them probably do this drive EVERY GODDAMNED DAY to get to work.  How stupid are you to drive the same route for days, months, or even YEARS and not figure out that there's a nifty little way to get around all the backup in merging traffic?  THERE'S A SIGN.  IT HAS AN ARROW.  IT POINTS TO THAT LANE AND SAYS 110S.  Do you not trust the sign?  You trust the sign next to it, why not THIS SIGN?  This sign has no reason to lie to you.  I'm going to make a new sign.  It's going to be bright fucking orange and I'll put it at the start of the shoulder that half of you idiots drive across at the last minute because the other lane will take you STRAIGHT TO HELL apparently.  My sign will say "HEY ASSHOLES, THIS LANE ---> WILL ALSO TAKE YOU TO THE 110S.  I PROMISE."  The arrow is necessary because they are literally that stupid.  Actually I should just draw a picture of the whole thing because I'm assuming someone this dumb can read.

2) Undergrads.  I can't handle you.  Seriously.  SHUT UP.  Everything you say is of no importance whatsoever.  Stop talking like Kim Kardashian.  I want to punch you in the neck.  I hate being on campus in the middle of the day.  I've nearly been killed by a bike at least 7 times because these idiots are actually texting while biking.  And you're so LOUD.  STOP.  There is no possible way I could've been that annoying as an undergrad.  Having a boyfriend the whole time helped because I wasn't gossiping about frat guys or randomly yelling for no reason.  I'm not saying that the majority of stuff I talk about is important/relevant/or even worth listening to, but I do it at a reasonable volume and without the stupid bitch voice or a "NO WAAAAAAY" thrown in every 3 seconds.

There was a dumb fake blonde hair-extension little bitch in the computer lab today when I was trying to print my paper for class and run halfway across campus because nowhere else has any goddamn printing.  There are rows of computers, as you may have guessed seeing that is the typical setup for a computer lab.  I was assigned to a computer at the very end of a row.  There was one girl sitting at a computer doing what looked like legit work, and then her dumb fake friend was sitting IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AISLE.  There was NO ONE ELSE AROUND.  All you have to do is MOVE YOUR CHAIR NEXT TO HER.  NOPE.  She was going to sit in that aisle and take it for all it was worth.  I begin walking down the aisle to my computer and, after standing next to her for a second, assuming she'd get out of my way, had to say EXCUSE ME in order for her to acknowledge my existence and moved VERY SLIGHTLY out of the way for me to pass while rolling her eyes.  Then she went right back to her spot blocking any and all traffic.  I had to go back and forth to the computer twice to get my paper from the printer and sign off, and BOTH TIMES she still had yet to figure out that OH HEY PEOPLE WALK HERE and that maybe because I left my stuff by the computer when I got up that I was likely to walk back.  EACH TIME required me to stand there and say excuse me when she CLEARLY saw me coming.  HEY.  YOU ARE NOT IMPORTANT, COOL, OR EVEN SOMEONE THAT ANY NORMAL PERSON WOULD WANT TO TALK TO.  STOP.  JUST STOP EXISTING.  I CAN'T FUCKING TAKE IT ANYMORE.

I've been doing important shit since before you even existed.  What was I doing in 1994?  Lots of awesome important 12-year-old things, like listening to Janet Jackson on a cassette tape or making friendship bracelets.  What were you doing?  OH RIGHT, BEING BORN.  Sorry, that doesn't hold a candle to my middle school theater skills that have obviously served me well in this world.  And I was KILLING IT on Super Nintendo.  I can still kill it on Super Nintendo.

3) In my MBA class, which has people I generally don't hate in it since they at least know what a VHS tape is, I generally sit in the middle of a row with a couple of empty seats on each side of me between whoever's on the ends.  It works out great.  I like this setup.  Don't fuck with this setup.  Especially don't fuck with this setup if you're the two guys in class that have RAGING B.O.  "Oh hey, we're late to class!  Why don't we squeeze in and sit on either side of this girl instead of taking one of the 20 other available seats in the room?"  DEAR GOD STOP.  I have my nice buffer zone where I can spread out my shit, have my breakfast bar and water and generally be comfortable.  GET OUT OF THE BUFFER ZONE.  I DO NOT HAVE FORCES TO COMBAT YOUR STENCH, pleeeeeeeeeeease spare me from an hour and a half of the equivalent of sticking my face in a dumpster.  I was not spared.  I left with very little oxygen because I had been taking shallow breaths to avoid the smell, I COULD HAVE DIED PEOPLE.


I may or may not have some anger issues.  Just be glad I take it out via blog and not through violent means.  I mostly don't care to go to prison, since if my friends won't even visit me in Silverlake there's NO WAY they'd drive all the way to prison.