THINGS INTROVERTS HATE, PART 1

There's a reason I like writing - I can say whatever I want without someone stopping me in the middle to give their opinion or change the subject or whatever the fuck talkative assholes do.  Ever notice how *most* of my blog posts seem to have a point?  That's because I get to say everything I want to say.

I'm friends with both introverts and extroverts, but I find that the extroverts will interrupt me every time I try to breathe.  I don't know why this happens.  What the fuck do you have to say that's so important?  Do you ever wonder why my stories don't make a lot of sense and take ten thousand hours to tell?  YEAH, BECAUSE YOU KEEP FUCKING INTERRUPTING ME. STOP IT.

Sometimes my mouth goes faster than my brain (that's what she said) so I have to pause and take stock of where I am.  Inevitably, someone sees that pause as a time to insert either a) an opinion on the subject or b) something entirely unrelated that they just thought of.  Once I get them to shut their filthy pie hole, it takes me a second to remember where I was in the story, thus MAKING IT TAKE LONGER.  Then interrupters want to interrupt more because they think I'm taking too long.  WHOSE FAULT IS THAT?  YOURS.  IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT.

Things that make me happy:

- Those types of meetings or groups where someone is only allowed to talk if they're holding the talking stick.  Not only do I hate being interrupted, I hate listening when someone else is interrupted.  It breaks my train of thought, and I was trying to listen to something.  The sound of people talking over one another is like fingernails on a chalkboard to introverts, and they really need to make talking sticks both mandatory in life and bigger, so I can smack the people who don't understand how to TAKE TURNS.

- The courtroom.  Oh, the glorious rules of speaking while in court.  Think about what would happen if there wasn't required silence by the opposing party in a case.  It would probably end up with someone being hauled off to jail and another person on a gurney.  That's why there are these lovely little rules that allow me to speak when it's my turn without being interrupted.  And if I AM interrupted, it's simply by "Objection!" at which point both of us stop talking and the judge decides who is to speak.  The defense attorney can't just sit there during my opening statement and start screaming "That's not true!  He wasn't even driving!  The cars were different colors!  He couldn't have been there at 7am, because he was here!"  And, even though you are technically allowed to object during an opening statement, rarely is something considered prejudicial enough to warrant an objection and generally you make it through without interruption.  It's an amazing feeling.

If I'm not very talkative, it's likely because it's a "talk over each other" situation or I have been shut down by multiple interruptions and have no more energy to communicate verbally.  So take note.  Not only is it rude to interrupt people, ANY person, not just an introvert, it makes our lives a living hell just to explain something that would've taken three minutes but your incessant talking drug it out to ten minutes and you have the balls to tell me I tell bad stories.  So, in conclusion: