Yeah, this isn't a hilarious story about some dude puking on his shoes or awkward hugs or cougars, I'm going to bitch a little bit because every once in a while, I really dislike being single.
I'm generally a cup half full type person (although recently I heard "The cup is always full - half air, half water." Touche) when it comes to my singledom, knowing that eventually I will find the right person and I will not die alone etc. You know when that stops? When being single is actually a detriment to my life and finances. How, you ask?
All of my friends are in relationships. ALL OF THEM. Even the ones I thought would be single as long as I was have coupled up. Boys and girls, gays and straights. All coupled. Now we're in what some affectionately refer to as "wedding season." It's not the weddings I dislike, or that get me into a tizzy about being single (I love weddings, no better reason to dress up and get free food and booze), but it's the preparations for said weddings. For instance, HOTELS AND TRANSPORTATION.
Couples ALWAYS have someone to split a room with. I don't. I have to keep looking and begging and looking for one or two other people to bring the massive charge of a hotelroom at the venue down enough for me to afford to attend. And don't even start with me about "hotels down the street." Sorry, if I'm staying somewhere ALONE, I'm not staying somewhere without all my friends. That's just sad, and drunk in the middle of the night it's dangerous.
Four people fit in a car better than 5, so two couples easily ride together. Where do you put your 5th wheel? I'm not very big, but I can easily make a 5 hour drive uncomfortable when I'm ass-to-ass with the others in the backseat. And if I had the money to fly, who the hell would come pick me up? Would I have to pay for a taxi ALONE to the hotel?
Being single is a financial drain. Seriously. Add it up. Hotel room for one, airfare because I can't ride in someone's car (OR I drive ALONE 5 hours, wasting gas and putting mileage on my car), taxi fare from the airport (or public transit fare). Meanwhile, if I was in a couple I'd pay for half a hotel room and have a practically free ride since gas would be split four ways.
In my group of friends, it never feels like I'm super single when we go out. No one is ooey gooey in the corner making out, everyone is having a good time with everyone else, and couples statuses are forgotten for the moment. We're all just friends. I never feel uncomfortable hanging out with a bunch of couples. That's why I rarely bitch about being single. That, and people don't want to hear about it.
It's only when my single status is brought forth as an obstacle to inclusion in activities that I become upset about it. I don't need it thrown in my face. I'm perfectly happy on a day to day basis, although I would like to get out more. Even numbers work out better. It's a fact of life. In cars, at tables, in hotelrooms, even when BUYING HOT DOGS. No one sells 5 hot dogs in a package. Every hot dog has a mate.
Couples get invited by other couples to do things. Go to dinner, do some day activity, see movies. No one actively says "don't invite the single one" but it's easy to forget when you start seeing your friends as BobandJane and TomandSara that
you have one friend out there who is just Friend1.
And riddle me this, coupled-up readers...how does one MEET new people of the single nature without GOING OUT? Coupled up people either don't really want to go out as a threesome with you or turn out to be terrible wingmen. Really we singles need each other so we can go out and do our single thing - find people to date. Counting right now I have 2.5 single friends within driving distance (.5 referring to a friend who promised to dump her boyfriend when she got a job, and she got one...).
I feel like I'm just sitting here wasting time. Go to work, hang out with my coupled up friends, sleep, repeat. Other than the work part, I like my life, but I need to get out there and make some efforts. And I need people to do that with.
So you damn couples GO FIND ME SOME SINGLE FRIENDS!! :)
I am a coupled-up reader (we prefer the more humane CUR, haha) and I'll tell you - before I met Nick, I went out a lot more. A LOT more. But I was also 21. And I was also "lesser employed." And I was also in a different place in my life.
ReplyDeleteI think that going out is always going to be the way to meet people; obvs unless you plan on dating Jenn or Rudy that's going to be the case.
I will work my damndest to find you a single man since my first attempt...didn't work out. ;) But seriously - it will happen when/how it's meant to happen! DAMMIT!