GARBAGE DISPOSALS: THE UNSUNG HEROES OF THE KITCHEN

It's like that old saying: you don't know what you've got til it's gone.  And damn, do I miss my old buddy Garbage Disposal.

You've likely never thought about your garbage disposal, or at least, if you have, only in times when it's broken, or you shoved too many potato peels into it and it overflows. You've probably never thought, "Why do we have this weird grinder thing in our sink? What would my life be like without it? Do I really need it?"

I've only been without a garbage disposal twice - once in a building built in the 1920s that, despite being updated in most aspects, still had the original kitchen sink (sans disposal); and now, in my apartment in Korea. Apparently, according to BuzzFeed, garbage disposals are a uniquely American phenomenon.

I grew up using the garbage disposal as the place to put food trash. You didn't throw pieces of food in the garbage - that would make it stink. You threw it in the garbage disposal, turned it on, and bam, your food was whisked away to a magical world where you didn't have to worry about flies in your kitchen trash. It was a beautiful world. Where do you put eggshells? Disposal. That burned piece of steak your kid won't eat? Disposal. All those onion pieces  you picked out of your food? Yep, disposal. Piece of the plant that fell on the floor? Why not? An entire lemon? Sure! Literally anything that might possibly rot ever? YES.

As a side note, my garbage disposal was replaced about a year ago when I lived in LA, and they put one in that was BIONIC. Like legit COULD chop up an entire whole lemon, unsliced. I may or may not have found myself throwing random (food) things in it to see how hard core it was, and it ATE EVERYTHING.

Now that I'm disposal-less, LIFE IS DIFFICULT. Korea makes you sort EVERYTHING, from traditional recyclables like plastic, paper, metal and glass, to "other garbage" and "food waste." "Other garbage" DOES NOT INCLUDE food waste. So you have to scrape any leftovers into a bag specifically for food waste, which is really fucking gross. Since I'm not accustomed to leaving much leftover after eating, I'll have two tiny pieces of food to put in that stupid plastic bag and I'm not walking that shit out to the damn food waste bin on the street every time I have a meal - and you can be proud of my laziness, because that also means I'm not throwing out a different plastic bag each time I have 3 square inches of food to toss.

Where do I put it? The freezer. Don't judge, that's where everyone else puts it too. But it's pretty nasty. In order to fill up a bag enough to feel like you're not wasting energy and bags by taking it out, you have to look at eggshells, potato peels, broccoli stalks, gross pieces I cut off the chicken before I cooked it, something that got moldy in the fridge, or brown avocado pieces every time I open the freezer just to get some damned ice cubes for AT LEAST a week.

SO WHY THE HELL DON'T THEY HAVE A MAGIC FOOD GRINDER IN THE SINK?? Who in their right mind wants to put that nasty shit in a bag and have to touch it and think about it again? The garbage disposal is the kitchen embodiment of Americans sweeping problems under the rug. MY PASTA SAUCE HAS MOLD ON IT, I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH IT, DOWN THE DRAIN YOU GO! You seriously want me to pour moldy pasta sauce (or other semi-liquid stuff) in a BAG? That's NASSSTY.

In one of the numerous BuzzFeed articles about dumb things America does (most of them are legit, America is dumb), one of the things mentioned was a garbage disposal. Someone commented about how ridiculous they were, and I was surprisingly offended. DON'T LIKE MY TRASH-EATING SINK??  FUCK YOUUU THEN. Have fun picking your potato peelings out of the sink ONE BY ONE with your FINGERS. Eww. Hope you eat everything on your plate, because there's NOWHERE FOR IT TO GO.

No, but like seriously, I really do eat crumbs off my plate now when I'm at home so I don't have food waste to throw away. I WANT MY GARBAGE DISPOSAL BACK. I WANT MY FREEDOM TO TOSS WHATEVER I WANT DOWN THE DRAIN ALL WILLY NILLY.