Monday, June 25, 2012


Spurred on by some recent events, but just in general, after being able to fly, of course, these are my chosen superpowers:

- When someone is driving below the speed limit, I could use my mind to make their car go faster, and consequently freak them out while easing my commute

- The ability to instantaneously turn fat and ugly (or perhaps just frumpy and plain) when doing things such as passing a construction site, walking past homeless people, or standing outside waiting for something near a roadway to avoid catcalls.

- Some way of projecting both my bank balance and my credit score to store clerks when I'm just browsing and they keep bothering me.  Same thing for homeless people.

- Be able to give one single look that scares every single misbehaving child on the planet into becoming quiet and respectable

- Emit some sort of gross smell or irritating sound frequency that targets only ugly guys considering hitting on me, and it gets stronger the closer they get to me

- A force to physically get me to an exercise site and make me exercise

- Some sort of magical shower device that cleans my body and hair, but I don't have to take all the time to redo my hair and makeup

- If someone doesn't use their turn signal at a necessary time, their horn will blast for 30 seconds without being able to stop it

1 comment:

  1. May the force be with you...and by force, I mean me, to FORCE you to exercise. ;)


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