Thursday, April 7, 2011

*GUEST BLOG* YOU'RE SINGLE BECAUSE YOU'RE A MAMA'S BOY

Our very first guest blog!! I love hearing other people's stories, hopefully you will too.
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So obviously this post can only apply to men. So incase you men are unsure of what exactly a mama’s boy is, let me define it for you. A mama’s boy is a grown man who is excessively attached to his mother at an age where men are expected to be independent. By independent, I specifically mean financially. I get that sometimes in your early 20s, you may need a little boost here and there from a family member to get by, because I know I did…but by the time you are in your, oh, late 30s, you best be able to pay your own damn rent, iron your own dress shirts and buy your own groceries. And lord knows, if you cannot do these things…you DEFINITELY should not be dating.

Trust me, I speak from experience. My most recent relationship, if I even want to call it that, I was basically someone’s mom for 3 months. I should have seen the signs. Date one was a movie night. Date two was another movie night. Date three was kind of impromptu and I had cooked dinner…he loved my cooking and being a dietitian I like to cook…so there you go. We started to have this relationship where I was always cooking dinner, dessert, brownies…and he was coming over and eating it. This guy actually had the nerve to call me in the afternoon and basically put in his order of what he wanted for dinner. Soon I found out that he also does this to his mom…who just so happens to live walking distance from him. I also found out she irons his clothing, does his laundry and gives him money.

No wonder when his phone rang at midnight (which it did pretty much every time he was over) it was always his mom. They would yip and yap at each other in Hebrew (ALSO KNOW MOST ISRAELI MEN ARE HABITUAL MAMA’S BOYS-YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!), probably saying something to the effect of “Son, why aren’t you here for dinner” and “Mom, I will be there for lunch tomorrow, please make ____ and have ___ dollars ready for me to pay for____.”

P.S. This guy turns 37 in May! So I am pretty sure those fancy roses and card I got for Valentine’s Day I can thank Mommie Dearest for, not Moochie McGee.

I admit I feel pretty pathetic for putting up with all of this. His looks did get him pretty far in my book, but no man like that is going to put a ring on my finger (or probably even want to BECAUSE I AM NOT HIS MOM!)…and at 37…I highly doubt any woman would put up with that in a boyfriend or husband for very long. I can bet if I look up this loser in 10 years he will still be in his same clusterfuck apartment pulling the same BS with women and still going to his mom’s for lunch and borrowing money from her to date-which, by the way, he admitted to me he does! Awesome. Any of you ladies want his number?

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