Monday, April 4, 2011


I'm a single, 29-year-old attorney living in LA, part-time game show contestant, part-time beach bum. Through my years of dating I have come to realize why some people are single, even when they themselves cannot. From clingers to cheapskates to drunks, I've met them all, and dated a few. This informative website is designed to tell those guys and girls who completely and utterly fail at dating exactly why they happen to suck at it. It may be harsh, it may be crude, but it's all honest.

I'm sure you're wondering how a person still single herself is qualified (or at least believes herself to be) to tell others why they're single? Well, first off, I know why I'm single. As to not come off like a total dick, I will enumerate below the reasons I believe I'm single.

Having come from a background of eight consecutive years of relationships (three, to be exact) with only a six month break in the middle somewhere, I have at some point in time held down healthy relationships. In fact, the first one is still one of my best friends. I do, however, have a little bit of an issue with the beginning part of dating, BEFORE a relationship occurs, which explains why I can't seem to get into one at the current time.

Why I'm single:

1) I don't get out much. This sounds pathetic and sad, but it isn't as bad as it seems. I don't, however, really have ways of meeting people other than the general "bar hopping" with friends and work (where I have eight coworkers and only one of them male). I've exhausted the "friends of friends" thing, which honestly I've found is the most reliable and comfortable method of dating people, and I've found that the pickings on the internet, in person, generally let you know instantly why they had to go to the internet to date.

2) I'm perhaps, a bit, maybe a smidge, overzealous. Yeah, I admit it. I have been the overtexter, the overanalyzer, the "gets attached too fast" girl. However, that comes somewhat from my background - I've pretty much always been able to talk my way into whatever I want, whether it be a better grade, free or upgraded services at places, or even a conviction when I was a prosecutor. I'm an attorney. We expect to be able to talk our way into anything. Unfortunately, you can't talk someone into liking you. I finally had the revelation in the past six months that "If they don't like you now, they probably won't like you next week either."

3) I haven't met the right person yet. Really and truly I think this is the main one. I am somewhat picky, although not ridiculous about it, and am not willing to settle. If I'm only kind of feeling it, you get maybe a week tops for me to get more into you or you're out. I don't waste my time on people that I can tell I'm not 100% into. I'm not an equal opportunity dater. I don't give EVERYONE a chance. Sometimes you just know there's nothing there, and it's ok to say "no thanks" even if you're single and looking.

4) My looks and personality don't match. Perhaps this is a category all its own, but I find myself rather attractive. Based on audience response, I don't believe my opinion is too far skewed in one direction of the other. However, I'm somewhat quirky. I'm a closet nerd, a jackass, a sarcastic bitch, an intellectual, somewhat overbearing at times, and a social-phobe at others. The guys who see me as something they are physically attracted to generally aren't looking for what comes out of my mouth. They want the sorta stupid, easy-to-manipulate dumb blonde that will be arm candy and put out. It also works against me in the other direction, however - the guys I would be interested in are not interested in ditsy blondes who have nothing in their head and can't hold a conversation, and often won't even approach me because that's unfortunately how I look.

5) I have an intense fear of rejection. Why don't you go up to the guys you're interested in and talk to THEM, you ask? Unfortunately, this is where my social anxiety comes in. I'm great in a group of friends, even when that includes new people, but when it comes to introducing myself to a hot stranger? No thanks. The humiliation I would suffer from a rejection would be far worse than simply not meeting them at all. The only time this is possible is if there have been glances exchanged, I'm pretty drunk, and I have a wingwoman (or man). That combo happens about as often as it rains in LA, this year excluded.

So there you go. That's me. Be forewarned, however - nothing is safe. If we date, you'll probably end up in this blog. Sure, I'll change your name, but probably not incriminating details. So sit back, relax, and learn why the hell you're still single.

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