Sunday, April 17, 2011

*GUEST BLOG* YOU'RE SINGLE BECAUSE YOU YELL AT GIRLS ON THE STREET

Loved this one! So painfully true. Enjoy the THIRD guest blog!

Let me lay the scene: You’re jogging along, grooving to your iPod, when suddenly you hear something. It’s a car horn honking. You snap your head around, hoping you’re not about to be plowed over at that intersection you kinda-sorta-maybe of breezed through without looking. But no, you’re not about to get turned into roadkill; you’re about to get cat-called by a complete friggin moron. “Heeeey!” “Ow owwww!” “Damn, girl!” “Yeah, I like that!” or some other equally brainy remark flies your way.

And instantly you fall madly in love. You gaze into his eyes (assuming you can find his eyes through those heavily tinted windows), and your world is suddenly complete. You simultaneously rip your clothes off AND propose marriage right there in the middle of the street.

OR. NOT.

Hey, buddy…what, exactly, are you hoping to accomplish with this lame-ass pick-up tactic?! How many times has a girl ACTUALLY stopped in her tracks, flagged you over, and jumped into the car with you? Oh…never? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

You are single, and will remain so, because you adopt the stereotypical construction worker mentality to approaching women. Yelling at us as we walk/jog/ride/drive by you is going to get you absolutely nowhere. More than likely, it’s going to startle your target and cause her to trip, thereby really pissing her off. Just a guess, but extreme annoyance is probably not the first emotion you want to evoke when hitting on a girl. But if it is, by all means continue on with your brilliant wooing method.

1 comment:

  1. SO. EFFING. TRUE. I hate guys who do this so much.

    ReplyDelete

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